10.04.2003

Psych...I love that class
Wow.

So what a strange yet wonderful week of suppressed e-conflict.

The only problem I see with BLogging is that it detracts from real interaction. It's so easy to just leave a message on the BLog and forget about it. It makes us live our whole inter-social lives right here.

Which, in some respects isn't such a bad thing. Hell, there isn't any noticeable emotion behind words, unless you're using the strongest kind ("I fucking hate you and wish you were shot"). Is it any wonder that I hate getting online, and thus, never do? Altho that doesn't stop me from BLogging, which is the paradox of our time.

BLogs are like the little journals I intend to keep but never do. Plus, they talk back, or at least, this one does. Getting perspective on any situation is good, even if it is a bad perspective. If there's one thing a bad situation can teach you, it's what not to do next time.

Or it can teach you humanity and how things work. Or both, mostly that, actually.

Or it might not teach you anything. Or it might teach you the right thing, but you go about learning it wrong. That's what happens when you get to be, what most people call, "screwed up".

What's really amazing is, though the ultimate goal (for lack of a better word) of life is death, life teaches so much before we go. It's incredible that nature would allow itself to exist when it will certainly die. Including God in this factor, and it's not surprising. But from the godless atheist viewpoint, thinking that nature would weed out the weak, it's surprising that nature didn't weed itself out long ago.

Maybe it expects us to do it for it.

How freakingly Goth is that?!? Did you notice I put it on its own line, for emphasis, too?!? So Goth!!! Notice I'm using more than one end punctuation?!?! WOW!!! NOW ALL CAPS?!? WHAT IS THIS?!?

I almost typed, "what is this shit?". Did you all notice that "this" and "shit" are the same letters all mixed up? I notice this because I was trying to type "this" and I had a Freudian slip and typed "shit" instead. Cool.

So after this largely irrelevent post, I must bid you all adieu. But I had to put that little irrelevent thought in my little irrelevent pseudojournal. How irrelevent.

I am irrelevently yours.
What a price to pay for assurance.
Jaoh... go away. =P

Actually... no he doesn't have to prove it to me and the only way is by not making Linds go haywire.
So then the question becomes: how is he supposed to prove it to you?

And really, is it even necessary that he does?
Will, thanks for the words of advice. Really.

Ok Linds. True I haven't met Michael and true I haven't talk to him. BUT I've seen how his actions miles away have turned you upsidedown. I really don't want to see that again...I don't think any of us do. That is why I'm so against you being with him. I know I shouldn't attack you...I tried for the past couple of weeks but I'm not exactly in control of how I feel. Anyway, basically sorry that I'm constantly attacking him. Oh yea...I don't trust him...not until he proves himself that he can be. Hope everything turns out ok...

10.03.2003

THANK YOU ROSIE.

I'm not really understanding the conflict here. To quote, even if this is a bastard thing to do: "...you know what I meant." Which means that there's some underlying conversation that has yet to surface.

I mean sure, it's hard for a good part of us to get over Michael-bashing. Just read the backlogs to the BLog. Hellacious. We tore the shit out of that guy.

I don't really know what to think of the whole thing. Half the time, it's like it was the first night all over again, remember Linds? I sat there cooking chicken, going, "No fucking way!" I still catch myself doing that sometimes.

Speaking of time...I think if we give this some time to ease its way out, it'll be much better.

And if it all comes down on a bad note...fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

And stuff.

I wonder if I take this fucking stupid 15 minute survey if it'll go away. This thing is really annoying for some reason.

UPDATE: It's not going to go away, and what more, I can't take it since I'm sixteen. I mean, I could. But I don't want to because this stupid advertisement won't go away even if I do, so I'd rather not waste the time. What would improve BLogger is if they took away the assholemachine 15 Minute Survey Thing. RAGH.

UPDATE 2: HOLY HELL. It did go away. I went to another BLog, and it's gone! YAY! I'm impetuous, yes. But it worked so HELL YA BIOTCH.
You're right, Josh, there are reasons to look over my shoulder, and I do, to an extent. I'm not completely blind as to what's happened in the past. But, I think I know him a bit better than you do, Rosie, as does Abby, given she's actually talked to him before. And since we both approve, I think it's ok. Not only that, but I think I can judge for myself who is good enough for me. But, if you would like to talk to him, I'll give you his number, and you can see for yourself. That might solve some things. Then he can defend himself and I won't have to do it anymore.
heh...I meant how I observant I am at school. I haven't realized that your sis was at BHS...I could have swore she was still in middle school. I've also kinda tripped over Barbera couple of times to add the awareness levels or Rosie.

10.02.2003

ROSIE, you still haven't answered me. Bygolly I'm the administrator, YOU SHALL OBEY OR YOU SHALL FALL.

I like the word "atall", it's partially Ye Olde Englishe. It'se sweete! Helle yesseth!

As to being worthless, or good enough...I figure Linds wouldn't continue to date someone a thousand years away if he wasn't good enough, at least for her. Perhaps we have cause for misgiving, but that's no reason not to have a bit of trust.

My mom made a point the other day, that when someone breaks your trust, it's damn near impossible to get it all back. I dunno if I like the idea but it seems fairly reasonable on some level. Like, they may seem to get it all back, but you'll still be subconciously looking over your shoulder.

Unprovable, yes, very pessimistic, also a yes. True? I think so, as sad as that is. Trust is one of those things people look for to survive. If someone has stabbed you in the back before, what's to stop them from doing it again? Circumstance, yes. But should there ever be a great reason for us, doing no wrong, to be betrayed by those we trust in?

Rhetorical questions are awesome, but they haven't been effective since "give me liberty...". I think people have just become too smart for that kind of persuasion. Or too stubborn to think, rather. In any event:

This is the end of the post
Will, don't take your dating troubles out on me. Linds...you know what I meant. He's not good enough.
And he did remember, by the way, which surprised me. So there. Not worthless atall. Yes, that was meant to be one word. Atall. Accent on the first a. So it's ah-tall.

10.01.2003

Will, abrasive as usual...heheheh.

Well...I randomly showed up at her house after school (after "assuring" her that the 30th is not a day of importance, tosh!) with her favourites...daisies, of course. And in three colours and three of each, of course. And I also gave her some chocolate covered cherries and blueberries from Starbucks. And then we had a "boring date" until I had to go and get Katie from Color Guard. It was an awesome day...she's so incredibly wonderful.

You never answered my question, Rosie...why are you "observant"?
THANKS, WILL!!! He's not a waste of time, he's just very busy. As am I. You don't see me calling him either, now do you?
WHY ARE YOU DATING HIM IF HE'S SUCH A WASTE OF TIME!!!!!!!!!
1) ok, as soon as I get enough time. But I have to leave here in a few minutes. But it's kind of depressing. But it's my very favorite.
2) I didn't get to watch it today :(
3) I realized this after I posted. Sorry I forgot. Today is me and Michael's 2 month. As if he'll remember. Yeah... So what did you do?

9.30.2003

Rosie, how are you "observant"?

And to Linds, in accompanying list format!:

1) I would like to hear it, since poetry rox my sox.
2) Wasn't it good? G-ma was watching it too today, it was thuroughly enjoyable, if at least to laugh at.
3) Aww frickin' W00T you have your license! YE-AH! Today was mine and Abby's 3rd month anniversary, that's why it's special.

Everyone dressing up tomorrow? It's going to be AWESOME! Umm...it's "belt and shoes match", right? I thought that was it. What about the tie, does it matter? I don't think I'll even read this again before you all see me, but I thought I would ask for future reference, or to laugh at myself thereafter.

9.29.2003

o....gee...I'm observant lately...
1) I've got a better poem, but I like that one. I'll post it when I have the time.
2) Trading Spaces is awesome. I watched the 3:00 episode, though.
3) Why is tomorrow as special day, besides me going to get my license?
Hope everyone is enjoying Trading Spaces...it's on right now!

I have it on in the background, coupled with the smell of heat and running water. The heat in this house has a smell, and it's really frickin' nice. And Katie is running a shower and it has a really nice sound to it. So that probly means I'll be hitting the sack here in a second because I'm really tired...and tomorrow's a really special day.

If Abby happens to be reading this...NOTHING IS GOING ON PLEASE IGNORE THAT LAST COMMENT...heheheh.

Well, that's it for now friends, I hope you enjoyed the wonderful poem.
Why surely, Lindseyreid.

I have rediscovered the greatest poem ever written, and I thought I should share it with you all. This comes from the greatest book of poems ever written, Reflections on a Gift of Watermelon Pickle..., and the poem is called Poets Hitchhiking on the Highway. Let's read, shall we?

"Of course I tried to tell him
but he cranked his head
without an excuse
I told him the sky chases
the sun
And he smiled and said,
"What's the use."
I was feeling like a demon
again
So I sad: "But the ocean chases
the fish."
This time he laughed
and said: "Suppose the
strawberry were
pushed into a mountain."
After that I knew the
war was on--
So we fought:
He said: "The apple-cart like a
broomstick-angel
snaps and splinters
old dutch shoes."
I said: "Lightning will strike the old oak
and free the fumes!"
He said: "Mad street with no name."
I said: "Bald killer! Bald killer! Bald killer!"
He said, getting real mad,
"Firestoves! Gas! Couch!"
I said, only smiling,
"I know God would turn back his head
if I sat quietly and thought."
We ended by melting away,
hating the air!"

Wasn't that great? Life is really cool now.

Later, friends.
Sweet lil froshies. Thanks for the second part of the birthday weeshes.

9.28.2003

Yeah. She's a froshie.
hey...I didn't know that you're sis was at BHS...or is she?
"To say that the human spirit is nothing but mere calculation is to make the spirit something of flesh; while it is comforting to think that ourselves can be manipulated through the work of the physical, it is, as if to say, we carry our souls in our pockets and apply them as we see fit."

That's from my paper, and I thought it sounded really slick, so I posted it here, hoping that when I read over this BLog in the future I'll see this and go, "Man...that was slick."

I can't hear anything, I've been recording all day. Aaaah. But it sounds pretty good, except for the vocals, since I couldn't hear myself sing by that point.

I drove the Acura today, it was sweet. They gave me the owner's manual to look at, it's awesome. I going to bug my mom to death now. HAHAHAHA. I must have it. Even she said, "It'd be nice if you had you're own car," and I said, "Yeah, it really would, too bad I don't have a job," and she said, "Oh." YES!

And a Happy Antiphilanthropist Birthday from me to Lindseyreid once again, as I hath done on The BLog, and for what it's worth, since the name of this BLog basically entailed a "not-people-person". Whee, HBD!

It's time to go and do...something else. Until we meet again, friends.
Woo! Woo!

Go BHS! First place in everything in the band/colour guard competetion today, except for percussion, in which they got 2nd, out of 10 bands!

My sis is in the colour guard so this is very relevent! Hooah! They just got in...hence, the time of the post.

Big w00t to the Bruins, who are SO L337.