Lordy, BLog's all weird again. But I like the post counter thing. Linds, you're beating my ass. Weird font. Augh. I'm supposed to be printing out Bayrd sources. What a slacker art I.
Well, this weekend hasn't turned out all that bad. I've done a lot of thinking about things, I think I have a start on what I want to say to Abby and my mom, I talked with my dad for a long time (5+ hours), we came to a lot of conclusions, tears, etc. It's a pretty cool thing walking in on two guys EMO tearing together. I drank Coke and sat against the security door, he sat on a chair across the kitchen and sipped some water. And man, all that from saying, "Can we talk later?" Something gives me the feeling that because of that, things are going to start to get better. And that simple phrase made the balance of 3 years' misery diminish and start to die. Well, alright, and there was five hours of talking, but the catalyst wasn't a total breakdown or anything. I think I like this method a lot better.
Hey, what can I say? Even I'm starting to feel a little better. I hit rock bottom the other day, sure. It's not everyday you almost break up with someone you love and are trying to get back to somehow. Finally, I can sort of stop the obsessive thoughts, I can rationalize my cognizance somewhat...rational-emotive, what a charm. I'm really hoping that life, after taking a big turn towards a tree for a while there, is starting to turn back onto the highway and pressing the gas to get the hell out of this town. It's just that these pills make me damn sleepy. Sigh.
Well...I don't know what to say. Today was a pretty good day. I was able to sit in quiet places and not freak for a change, I thought things through and wasn't totally catastrophic in all the outcomes. I may just be learning to trust people. It seems like such a turnaround, but I have a lot more to go, I know. But the turnaround gives me some place to start, thus: hope. And who couldn't use a bit of that now and then? I really hope things do turn about. God, I have a lot of catching up to do.
I really wonder why I shut up and let things slip by. Actually, I wonder what gave me away. Hm. Yeah, it's all sort of centered around Abby right now, that's one of the biggest problems in my head right now, but I don't feel hopeless about it for a change, I feel like we can actually make some progress now that all, or most, of the bullshit is cleared out of the way. God, I came so close, we came so close. I really love that girl, I wouldn't just let her go that easy. Linds has said that girls get into relationships looking to change the guy a bit...I could use it. That was random, I forgot why I put it (it had a point). Hmm. I just don't have enough time. Things need to be 100% now!
Ah well, I'll just do psychology tests in the meantime. Those things make me feel thrilled.
And I'm still working on that omelet, Linds. I'm trying to find a good recipe and some time to make it, but man, the goal is going to be fulfilled. And next, to key an asshole's car. Not for any mundane reason. I'm looking for an asshole parked in a handicapped space without tags or a window dealy or whatnot. I've always wanted to do that, and now I'm going to. I don't know what the city codes say about emus, but hell with it. They're too dumb to cause any damage, the poor buggers.
Go see Army of Darkness, it's the funniest movie ever!
Well, this weekend hasn't turned out all that bad. I've done a lot of thinking about things, I think I have a start on what I want to say to Abby and my mom, I talked with my dad for a long time (5+ hours), we came to a lot of conclusions, tears, etc. It's a pretty cool thing walking in on two guys EMO tearing together. I drank Coke and sat against the security door, he sat on a chair across the kitchen and sipped some water. And man, all that from saying, "Can we talk later?" Something gives me the feeling that because of that, things are going to start to get better. And that simple phrase made the balance of 3 years' misery diminish and start to die. Well, alright, and there was five hours of talking, but the catalyst wasn't a total breakdown or anything. I think I like this method a lot better.
Hey, what can I say? Even I'm starting to feel a little better. I hit rock bottom the other day, sure. It's not everyday you almost break up with someone you love and are trying to get back to somehow. Finally, I can sort of stop the obsessive thoughts, I can rationalize my cognizance somewhat...rational-emotive, what a charm. I'm really hoping that life, after taking a big turn towards a tree for a while there, is starting to turn back onto the highway and pressing the gas to get the hell out of this town. It's just that these pills make me damn sleepy. Sigh.
Well...I don't know what to say. Today was a pretty good day. I was able to sit in quiet places and not freak for a change, I thought things through and wasn't totally catastrophic in all the outcomes. I may just be learning to trust people. It seems like such a turnaround, but I have a lot more to go, I know. But the turnaround gives me some place to start, thus: hope. And who couldn't use a bit of that now and then? I really hope things do turn about. God, I have a lot of catching up to do.
I really wonder why I shut up and let things slip by. Actually, I wonder what gave me away. Hm. Yeah, it's all sort of centered around Abby right now, that's one of the biggest problems in my head right now, but I don't feel hopeless about it for a change, I feel like we can actually make some progress now that all, or most, of the bullshit is cleared out of the way. God, I came so close, we came so close. I really love that girl, I wouldn't just let her go that easy. Linds has said that girls get into relationships looking to change the guy a bit...I could use it. That was random, I forgot why I put it (it had a point). Hmm. I just don't have enough time. Things need to be 100% now!
Ah well, I'll just do psychology tests in the meantime. Those things make me feel thrilled.
And I'm still working on that omelet, Linds. I'm trying to find a good recipe and some time to make it, but man, the goal is going to be fulfilled. And next, to key an asshole's car. Not for any mundane reason. I'm looking for an asshole parked in a handicapped space without tags or a window dealy or whatnot. I've always wanted to do that, and now I'm going to. I don't know what the city codes say about emus, but hell with it. They're too dumb to cause any damage, the poor buggers.
Go see Army of Darkness, it's the funniest movie ever!
