Lindsey, We're 14, not thirteen. We're actually more mature then most girls our age. We're NOT drama Queens. YOU did say something and the qoute, 'Hello?! She's ruining one of my bestfriend's life and you expect me to stand here and do nothing?!' Yea, who ever said this, Yea, YOU said this, and Yea, *I* nor Leigh-Anne made it up. Yea, I'm the other girl on the phone, I'm sorry, but are we a level to be stooped upon just because of our age and grade level? That's pretty shallow. Leigh Anne's not mad at Rosie, nor at anyone, but i'm angry because of this, I did NOTHING. I was protecting my friend. I have dislike for you already Lindsey, but im not about to go off being a bitch about it all because I can't do that in here. Anywho I'm out of here.

Lily The Psycho Powered Goddess

Joah.
god I hate you.

Just for the record... Rosie nor I said anything to Leigh Anne or whoever was on the phone. We just said hello and they kinda took it from there because they asked where you were and I said you were in the bathroom. I don't know where they got everything else. All thirteen year olds are drama queens cuz they want their lives to be interesting and its not. Sorry if she cried; she brought it upon herself. And you don't help it much by tolerating her controling you're life. But I'll stay out of it. No more advice, etc. Bye, Josh. See You Monday. If you want to get mad, fine. If you want to sink to their level, that's cool. Just don't bring it out on the DI team. Oh, and we're about as happy with you as you are with us.

*laughs Insanely* JOSH!! YOU HAD BETTER PICK UP THE PHONEEE! Anywho, hahahahaha Anywho, Sit, im getting addicted to Leigh-Anne's words. BYE JOSHIESSS!!! BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE! * screams* BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Lily the Psycho Bitch

Ok, some ground rules...

Any of my invited people who check the team roster will see some people that they probably have conflict with...so no conflict or I kick you. I might just kick all of you anyway, nothing personal, I was sort of planning for this to be just mine, I put all of you on in a mini-fit.

And now to the problem.

People are fucking retarded. SURPRISE! Look at the name of my BLog for God's sake.

I don't want to understand anything anymore, I'm getting sick of that shit. Understand me! Understand why the fuck I get pissed off so fucking quick. Of course nobody will, I'm supposed to understand first. And that shit doesn't make sense. That is so gay.

Everything is so gay.

I swear to God, she is pissing me off. AGGGGGGHHH. I wish she wasn't, too.

Dirt by Alice in Chains

I have never felt such
Frusteration or lack of self-control
I want you to kill me
And dig me under
I wanna live no more

One who doesn't care is
One who shouldn't be
I try to hide myself from what is wrong for me
For me

I want to taste dirty
A stinging pistol
In my mouth, on my tongue
I want you to scrape me
From the wall, and go crazy
Like you made me

One who doesn't care is
One who shouldn't be
I try to hide myself from what is wrong for me
One who doesn't care is
One who shouldn't be
I try to hide myself from what is wrong for me
For me

You, you weren't so special
You have the talent
To make me feel like dirt
You, you use your talent
To dig me under
And cover me with dirt

One who doesn't care is
One who shouldn't be
I try to hide myself from what is wrong for me
One who doesn't care is
One who shouldn't be
I try to hide myself from what is wrong for me
For me

I want to talk about something that interests me.

But I can't think about it right now, not awake enough.

No.

Call me

River of Deceit by Mad Season

My pain is self-chosen
At least so the the prophet says
I could either burn
Or cut off my pride and buy some time
A head full of lies in the weight tied to my waist

The river of deceit pulls down, oh
The only direction we flow is down

Down, oh down (x4)

My pain is self-chosen
At least I believe it to be
I could either drown
Or pull off my skin and swim to shore
Now I can grow a beautiful shell for all to see

The river of deceit pulls down
Yeah, the only direction we flow is down

Down, oh down (x4)

The pain is self-chosen, yeah
Our pain is self-chosen

Down, oh down (x4)

Um well...

There was another classic example of me misreading a girl. She was all mad because she thought I was going out with Lindsey, and I guess she thought we were ok, or something...

As the last part of the history said on my woebegone Tin Haven, "the present has a lot of potential", and it does...it's really weird.

I'm not saying it's all better. I'm just saying it's not worse.

This settles a lot of things with me, faith mostly, I've prayed a long time for something to turn out right, and perhaps I'm getting a second chance.

Maybe I'm luckier than I thought.

Posted in Kenzie's BLog about five minutes prior:

Hiya Kenzie, guess what fucking happened....

First, this is the new secret BLog. Tin Haven got deleted by Leigh Anne, and you'll see why in the rest of this post. Second of all, some shit happened. My friends had my cell at that DI meeting, Leigh Anne called and kept calling. At one point, I went to the bathroom, they said something really horrible to her, she started crying.

I think she hates me now...after everything, after I ALMOST fucking had it.

"I love you" she said last night. I was able to make her laugh for hours, I was able to do it all. I was perfect. And now this shit, and Leigh Anne's taking it out on me for shit they said.

It amazes me how pathetic my luck is. I just really want to take everyone I've met this year, all my friends and everything, and scream at them til I lose my voice, sleep it off, and do it all over again until I choke on blood and die. I really cannot believe how much my friends want me to die, thinking they're doing the "good deed" for me by ruining things with Leigh Anne. She's hurt me a lot, but these things are in the past, gone forever, I can forget about that weakness I had, I can forget the depression, but somehow the scars it created seem to come back and haunt me, the scars surface and they never forget how I treated people when I was in darkness.

Somehow it's fine for Leigh Anne to take everything out on me, when I have a bad day. If something bad happens to her, like she said, "If you knew what happened to me today you'd know that I really don't need this (being cussed out/whatever happened by Lindsey and Rosie at the meeting)", then NOTHING ELSE bad can happen. Even if it's not me but my friends. I'm supposed to take responsibility for my actions, like it's all my goddammed fault. Why is that, Kenzie? Why is it that she can only see the bad in me when we're not together, and she only sees the good when she's at her worst, and I'm at my best.

At some point, her and Lily put down the phone. I've been sitting here, waiting, listening to the silence, for the past hour and fifteen minutes for someone to pick up, because I want to sort this out and get on with it.

I FUCKING CANNOT BELIEVE MY LUCK. I CANNOT. GODDAMN.

Will something please turn out right and stay that way, please? Give me just one grant God, universe, nature, any-fucking-one, listen to my soul screaming and give me this.

The time for sadness is over.

And anger is in season.

Welcome to the new secret BLog...

I can't believe I'd ever need another one. I can't believe my luck, it's incredible.

Incredibly fucked.

Tin Haven was deleted by Leigh Anne in a fit of anger, goodbye Tin Haven. It doesn't matter.

For now, I want to post all that happened in Kenzie's BLog. I'll put it here eventually. It just seems like I'm talking to Kenzie when I do it, and it's a lot easier than feeling like I'm talking to no one here.

Welcome to Antiphilanthropy, down with this wastrel existence.